So I finally ended up teleporting back to the present time. I blow Kang halfway across the planet with my Martian Breath. My bizarre Martian powers really come in handy sometimes.
Back at my house I find Ace the Bathound. Ace is complaining about how Batman has kicked him out for "The Bat Bat". What was Batman thinking? He dressed up a bat in a bat costume and told it to fight crime. That's even worse than getting help from a dog in a bat costume. I tell Ace I'll ask Batman about it tomorrow.
Next day at the Batcave:
"Come on, Bruce. The Bat Bat?"
"Yes, J'onn. The Bat Bat." replies Batman.
"But WHY? I mean, it's already a bat. Why not just make it 'The Bat'?"
"Because I'm the Bat Man. A man with batlike qualities. And this is The Bat Bat. A bat with batlike qualities."
"But you're just being repititious. It's a bat already. Dressing it up in a bat costume isn't going to make it and more batlike. And how is a bat going to help you fight crime?"
"Believe me, I've put it through many hours of rigorous training. I even did a background check on it to make sure it's an orphan. I only hire orphans, you know."
"You know what, Bruce? Forget it. You obviously think this is a great idea, but when the Bat Bat actually stops a crime, give me a call. Then maybe I'll admit it's a good idea."
With that, I leave. That man gets crazier every day.