Turns out while I was gone, Deadpool's turned our house into a movie shooting arena. He's filled the pool with bats in prepeperation for--
"BATS IN A POOL! THE UNAUTHORIZED SEQUAL TO SNAKES ON A PLANE!" he shouts with extreme enthusiasm.
"Why are you advertising it as 'unauthorized'? Do you WANT a lawsuit?"
"Quite the opposite, my dear J'onn! I saw a book the other day... didn't read it, I don't read much, but it was an 'unauthorized autobiography'. See, that's clever. It's implying that he didn't have to get permission, since he 's the subject of the book. I'M implying that I don't have to get permission, since I DIRECTED THE ORIGINAL MOVIE!"
"First off, calm down. Secondly, no, you didn't direct Snakes on a Plane. Thirdly, why would you even want to make a sequal to Snakes on a Plane? The first movie bombed. And lastly... 'My dear J'onn?'"
"The public doesn't know that Wade Wilson didn't direct Snakes on a Plane under an alias, do they? And I'm a director now. I need to TALK like a director too."
"Not all directors are utter snobs. Anyway, who do you even have casted in this movie?" I ask, hoping it's at least a somewhat logical cast. I expected too much.
"Gary Coleman plays Samuel L. Jackson."
"...Are you kidding me? This is going to be the worst movie ever."
I take a closer look at him. He's wearing his usual red and black outfit... but there's a bit more black. He's wearing a Batman type mask on top of his normal one.
"Why are you dressed up like that?" I ask him.
"Why do you think? I'M BATPOOL! WHAT BETTER WAY TO SHOW ENTHUSIASM FOR BATS IN A POOL THAN TO BE BATPOOL! Plus, it's October. Halloween's coming soon. What better way to celebrate than to rip off Batman?"
This guy is insane.