Ace's Addiction

I get home and see Ace lying in the couch with the TV on. He has it on CNN, they're talking about Batpool running for president of the universe or something. The guy's so insane he'll probably win. He's sure to get the college vote.
"Can't believe he actually wants to be president. Seems like a kind of dull job for the guy."
Ace bites me. He actually bites me. When did this dog start acting like... like a dog?
"Shutttttttup... trying to enjoy the... the insanity of this campaign. Goes well with the alcohol my friend gave me..."

"How'd you get in touch with Brian again? He's in Rhode Island, you're in New York, how do you get together so often? I mean, I know you're the only two talking dogs in America, but really..."
"It's the new policiessssssssss man........ the new policies.... Batpool's implemented them and he's so hip they take place before he's even president... he's got the e-booze acts................. they're awesome... instant drunkenness... people can transfer alcohol... on the internets... through the tubes man!!!!!!!!!!! It's a series... series of tubes..."
Ace passes out. How can this guy have passed me up for his running mate. I've got to stop him from implementing these insane policies... before after he's implemented them... but before he's chosen to implement them... Whatever. I've got to stop him. Hopefully I beat him in the Green Party primaries. If the Green Party even has primaries. And if I can even enter the race this late. Whatever. I'm going to win. Somehow.